In search of the perfect burger..

The hamburger. What a brilliant invention. So simple yet so tasty! But where do you get one? Well unless you make it yourself, they're difficult to find. What baffles me is that any idiot with even the most basic skills in the kitchen should be able to throw one together. All you need is some good quality beef mince, a robust bun, some cheese and anything else you feel like adding. The mystery is why the hell is it so hard to find a decent one! I'm not talking about fast food "burgers" with the soggy, sugary buns that don't seem to last the distance, but the REAL old fashioned fish and chip shop burger! I remember them with fondness from a generation before we were hoodwinked by the multinational fast food chains that claimed "the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks". Better than what I ask? 

I'm a big believer in simple food made with quality ingredients (which is why I can't stand Masterchef!) I hate fancy for fancy's sake. Keep it simple stupid! There used to be a place down the road from me in Ascot Vale that knew how to make a burger. Quality beef from the butcher a few doors up. Organic sourdough rolls from the bakery opposite. Quality cheese and homemade tomato relish. It was a delight. The best part was the bun remained intact right until the last mouthful. No meat juices dripping off your elbows and sauce down the front of your shirt. It was a work of art! The thing is, why was I so impressed? Making a good burger is as easy as getting drunk at a wine tasting but why can so few people do it? I guess it's one of life's eternal mysteries. But as my father always said, " If you want something done properly, do it yourself"

P.S if you have a favourite Melbourne fish and chip shop burger haunt then let me know. I'm sure there are still some I haven't tried!

"no longer original" Australia.

I remember the comment made when the highly paid marketing consultants suggested the new name for the State Orchestra of Victoria will now be ORCHESTRA VICTORIA.. "Sounds like Parks Victoria"! Funny how a few years ago, corporations and businesses all over the country decided to be hip and new, chucked out all the old stationary, and re branded everything with the country or state name at the end. All of a sudden we have, Swimming Australia, Opera Australia, Ambulance Victoria, Unions NSW etc, etc. I recently heard my favourite so far. A mob that extols the virtues of washing your hands everything time you touch something to avoid "germs" (one of my pet hates!) is called "Hand Hygiene Australia"! Can it get more ridiculous??
Thankfully there are a few that have retained a sense of originality, The Australian Ballet is one and The National Gallery OF Victoria. Hopefully there are no plans afoot to change the name to "Gallery Victoria"!

If only we could idiot proof the idiots!

Did you know that one of the fastest growing employment industries in Australia is "Traffic Management"? How many times have you been held up by one of those guys (and increasingly, girls) holding one of those SLOW/STOP signs in quiet suburban streets? It seems that whenever there is any kind of "maintenance" going on, we suddenly need people to tell us to be careful! IS THIS A SCAM? A property developer associate (not friend, coz I hate those people!) of mine told me once that "traffic management" is a pre requisite of any construction job these days.. even in Cul de sacs! I used to live in Windsor in Melbourne, an area with many narrow streets capable of only one car passing in any direction. Was there ever a problem when two vehicles approached each other? NO.. We didn't need people telling us how to use common sense! If anyone has used the roundabout at the top of Elizabeth st/ Flemington Rd in the last 6 mths you would have noticed how they have idiot proofed that intersection in the interests of "safety". My problem is that not only we now have cars that practically drive themselves (automatics, rear reversing cameras etc), we don't even have to think about other drivers anymore! It's all so dumbed down and idiot proofed that we've become complacent and in my view more dangerous on the roads than ever before. Having spent a lot of time (and driven) in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, I've seen first hand how the Asian countries approach to traffic management is far more efficient and I think safer than our system. To the unitiated, there seems to be no rules on the road and a general sense of chaos! This is true to a degree but the system works perfectly because people PAY ATTENTION!! A good friend of mine from Sydney believes traffic is far worse in Melbourne even though there are per capita less cars on the road. We have traffic signals on the most insignificant intersections which not only slows down the traffic flow but frustrates drivers, pedestrians and cyclists. I've recently been in touch with Charles Low, a Senior Traffic Engineer with VicRoads with my grievances and I've assured him that I'll keep hassling about my concerns until we get some changes! Complacency is dangerous.. If you treat people like idiots, they'll become idiots!! That's enough for today! Thanks for reading and by the way, if you have any issues about any traffic nightmares around town, I'm sure Charles would be more than keen to hear from you! He can be contacted on: Charles.Low@roads.vic.gov.au

Is this appropriate?

I saw this ad on the back of a bus while driving down the Eastern Freeway last week! What kind of message is this sending? I'm outraged!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE female breasts but do we really need images like this displayed in public places where people (and kids) of all ages are unwittingly subjected to them? As a parent, I was fortunate that my son was not with me in the car at that moment. How do I explain to an 11yo what "getting your boobs done in your lunch hour" means? What would I say??... "Well son, unless you have perfect pert bosoms like those in the picture, you're a loser!"?? I mean really, call me a wowser but this is not the message we should be sending to our young girls. It's hard enough for the younger generation growing up in an over-sexed world without images like this portraying what is "normal".
I'm working on a strategy to get this ad removed. If you feel like I do about this then let me know and join the protest!
In the meantime girls, BOYCOTT Berlei bras!!

Welcome....

Welcome All,
My 11 year old son Tarkyn, after tiring of my daily rants about everything, suggested I start a blog and annoy someone else with my social observations, grievances, suggestions and opinions and general rage against the machine.

SO HERE IT IS... Welcome to TODD'S TRUMPET!

On this blog I'll be sharing my thoughts about all things that I'm passionate about. It might be social or political. I might be seeking an answer or suggesting the answer. I'm an observer and thinker. I'm also a skeptic that views society from a different perspective. I don't have all the answers but I reckon I've got a few good ideas!

My philosophy is: Respect your life and Life will respect you.

Stay tuned and avoid the idiots.
Cheers
Evan